You Happen To Be Hurting Us With Your Jealousy

So far I have updated the world with my thoughts on jealousy and self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that could have some male people thinking that I am only targeting females here. Jealousy and self-esteem difficulties also can imprison men as well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions. Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two victims here, not just one.

I also feel that I've neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a partnership that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also badly suffers.

A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by the other person through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are influenced. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partially because we need to free that side to start with, then we can help heal the other.

Well I am now going to share that person's prison of misery additionally.

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot tolerate for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please cease; to please listen to what you are claiming and accusing them of.

Routinely they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone else. When they endeavor to tell you that it is all in your mind, they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a malicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some occasions it takes a few days, some times it drops instantly. Nevertheless they have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They worry we will get even more depressed and unreasonable with what they say to us. They begin to feel, "cursed if they do, and cursed if they do not". I personally hate that feeling. To think that I myself would put somebody in that position makes me want to run away quicker than Forrest Gump.

The neglect you put on that person via your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are numerous scenarios as to why jealousy comes up inside people, but for the innocent ones that truly do not ever do a thing to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their problems and have began to deal with them, please remember the other individual that is there with you. They too need special attention, due to the fact that they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache.

Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can demolish our mate, through you, it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The most awful part about it is, that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your partner is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in distress and they are being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves you as much as you love them, and to come to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling all the way around.

Also be cautious not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong type of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous feelings take over and confuse what you really are trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very rapidly at bringing you down. So be aware of what specifically you are feeling.

I hope that I have at least opened up some concepts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being tortured and killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more frequently with each other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to do. HUG!!!!

One thought from my heart to yours:

Say this audibly:

"I am always ready to risk.

I am always ready to learn.

I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my anxieties aside and just live!"

In case the jealousy is just too much to tolerate and you need to move on, do a search of phrases like "mystery method", "by david deangelo" and "daviddeangelo". That way you'll find out more about this subject matter and a lot more about dating new people.

You Happen To Be Hurting Us With Your Jealousy
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You Happen To Be Hurting Us With Your Jealousy

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